well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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