there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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