some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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