I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
