Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
