And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
