Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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