she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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