Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
