Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
