I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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