Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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