Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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