WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
we're so committed to being not committed
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
