There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
