I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
