Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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