i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
