i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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