I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize