i would punch a child for taco bell
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
