someone get that fucking seahorse.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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