I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
