Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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