So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just had sex on a roof
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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