And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
