I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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