its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
im on a boat
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