i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
