I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we're so committed to being not committed
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
