Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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