its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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