i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm too high and old for this...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
