I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
