"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
