so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
