Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
