As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
