We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
