Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't think brook has ever known best
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
