Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
