9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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