Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think my moral compass just broke
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
