Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
