Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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