Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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