I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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