I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
