I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
