So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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