I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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