I'm going to jail i love you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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