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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There's always time for handjobs
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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