What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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