Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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