I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i would punch a child for taco bell
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
