Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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