Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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