i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
