is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
