The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
