Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
