Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
