Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
