I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
