Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize